A bit about me: I’m a sidequester.

I didn’t know this until my then-boyfriend, now-husband watched me play The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for hours and hours almost ten years ago. 

“Are you ever going to do the main story?” he asked, bemused. 

“Eventually? I just like exploring!” I replied. 

His incredulity and mild frustration with my approach to the game gave me pause. Was it so weird that I spent my time in the game wandering through Skyrim, speaking with NPCs (non-playable characters) about their troubles, and running errands for them? Was it odd to play a game in a meandering way, dipping out of the primary objective if another quest caught my interest? What was so captivating to me about just… exploring?

That’s when I realized: I’m a sidequester.

What brought me joy in the game was taking in all that Skyrim had to offer, regardless of whether or not an activity mapped up to the primary storyline. I found value and joy in enjoying the beautiful virtual scenery, the game’s music, the branching storylines and narratives outside of the main quest. 

More recently, it dawned on me that my sidequesting wasn’t just limited to the diegetic world of Skyrim. What brings me joy in my day to day is strikingly similar. I find deep value in experiencing the branches of the world, expanding my worldview beyond my life’s main quests (work, family, the norms). My most self-actualized life is one of detours.

This isn’t to say I don’t find fulfillment in my job–quite the opposite, in fact, as I love and value my work and my teammates–but my soul breathes to life when I lift my head and expand my line of sight beyond it. 

I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling. The cultural theorist Anne Helen Petersen explains that, after years of work- and education-oriented priorities, she needed to do the labor of finding another place to put her energies and ambitions. After some reorientation, Petersen describes her life as “both less busy (with work) and more busy (with other life) than ever before.” There’s joy and healing to be found in finding the “other wonders” in life.

Not that pursuing those wonders is an easy task. The endless dopamine shots we get from scrolling mindlessly through social media or smartphones or streaming media in the background of whatever else we’re doing are addictive. Our brain chemistry isn’t a big help here. It’s just so damn easy to default to habitual filler activities, those that can give a brief spark of pleasure but doesn’t lead to longer term fulfillment. (In the name of honesty and vulnerability, I write this introduction now while Degrassi plays in the background.)

So this project is as much a story of intention and breaking habits, as much as it is sharing my experiences exploring more of the wonders of life. Over the next several months, I’ll chronicle my intentional pursuit of those side quests, be they exploring physical places, learning new things, creating, thinking, and being. 

The world is a big place, and there’s so much out there beyond our main quest. I hope you’ll join me.